Wednesday, April 05, 2006

I am so annoyed!

After a particularly greulling half term I came across these comments made about the teacher training scheme that I am on:

It's a bullshyte scheme designed to train up a cohort of management consultants with the vaguest inkling of what goes on in a school.

and...

Teach First is worse than an insult to the profession, it's actively training people to hammer our terms and conditions, privatise educational services and deprive the poorest from any kind of decent education provision.

Anyway, I responded calmly (ok, maybe there was a note of sarcasm in my post) and was told to, and I quote, 'drop dead'.

As if the kids don't give you a hard enough time as it is, I am now hated by the teaching profession. Lovely.

If you'd like to follow the row then go to the tes website, go to staffroom and search 'teach first' - I am astounded at the rudeness.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Make life better...

I love a good link and so here is one for you: www.pandora.com

Check it out - it should be self explanatory, let's just say it's changed my life!

P.S: I've lost my passport. There is nothing like the fear of a lost passport and am iminent holiday. I feel like I have a horrible cloud over me. I have cancelled it and applied for a new one. The holiday is in three and a half weeks. Needless to say; I'm panicked.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Breaking records!

I broke a record today, my own personal best. I gave 14 detentions and sent 11 people out of my lessons. Quite an achievement. It has been one of those days. My patience has been wearing thinner and thinner and I have bascially had a nightmare. I feel like running screaming from the building and it's only Monday!

Anyway, I came across this poem and it made me feel a little better. What do you think? Nice or cheesey?

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient
If a child lives with encouragement he learns to be confident
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love
If a child lives with recognition, he learns it is good to have a goal
If a child lives with honesty he learns what truth is
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live to love and be loved

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I'll never do washing again...

Ok, I am totally freaked out. Yesterday I went home and put a pile of washing in the machine. After it had finished I went back to take it out and what did I see in the machine? A dead mouse. I am so scared of mice it is untrue. You know that thing that you have a ridiculous, irrational fear of? For me that is mice. I spent half an hour stood on the sofa making my housemates take the 'thing' outside and search my room with a torch looking for the little buggers.

Worst of all is the fact that my clothes were spinning around with a dead mouse...it really doesn't bear thinking about. I did consider burning them all. And did you know that environmental health don't pick up the phone at 9pm on a Monday night! I phoned a friend for sympathy and was shocked by Carrie Coupe's comment, her response was 'what a terrible death that mouse must have had!' Like I care Carrie, like I care.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

When jokes go wrong...

So...a little bit of history here, there is a woman at school who is a bit of a dragon. She is a deputy head and has been at the school going on 40 years! Everyone is scared of her and she is yet to acknowledge me at all. She is responsible for arranging cover and the person you have to tell if you go off sick or on a trip etc. She sometimes sends arsey memo's to you about stuff you've done wrong.

Anyway...my mentor at work is a guy called Simon who I get on really well with. Recently he's been wearing jumpers to school and not a shirt and tie. I thought it would be funny to put a fake memo in his pigeon hole telling him that he needed to dress more appropriately and that his current attire was unacceptable. I didn't sign it but just put a little scribble.

I popped it into his pigeon hole and thought no more of it, I was waiting for him to come to my room and complain about it at which point I'd say 'ha, ha it was me!' This didn't happen. At the end of my lesson Simon came storming into my room saying 'You're not going to believe what's happened', before I had a chance to speak he relayed the whole story to me but added the fact that he had gone to see the head teacher to complain about it. He also thought that the letter was from Marian (dragon woman mentioned above) and given her a sarky memo back telling her he was going to start wearing low cut tops.

At this point I had to mention that it was me. He then came out with 'f**k' infront of all of my Year 8's. The joke had backfired. Bigtime. Marian is now not speaking to me or Simon and the rest of the staff are happily giggling at my misfortune.

Next time I'll keep my jokes to myself!

Friday, January 27, 2006

I've been on a course...

Nobody likes the teacher who comes back to school after a course and has the nerve to be enthusiastic! Well, this week that has been me. I spent Wednesday at the Globe (Shakespeare's of course) and learnt all about using drama with Macbeth. I had the best time. I am now a fully fledged thespian.

Other members of the department just politely nodded along with me as I told them of my great, new fun ideas (I knew what they were thinking...'let's see how enthusiastic she is after trying to get year 9 to 'do drama') but my pupils looked downright scared. After what can only be described as a shocking morning (was meant to plan my day's lessons in period 2 but got cover - 8Y4 maths - trust me, this is not the type of cover you want to get) I decided to throw out my Macbeth lesson plan and get everyone up and acting. How did it go down? Lead balloon is too strong. Maybe balloon with a rock tied to the bottom? I will persevere. I have decided to become the stereotypical English teacher. I figure that putting on a persona is going to help me keep my patience; it's not me they're insulting, it's my alter ego - Miss Matthews the slightly eccentric teacher.

Whatever the outcome, I know for a fact that yesterday afternoon at about 2.15pm, Shakespeare was turning in his grave.

(On the insulting children line I have kept up my encouraging words. Yesterday I told someone to get out of my room, followed them out in a temper and shouted down the corridor after them 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??!!' - nice.)

Friday, January 06, 2006

Swearing at children...a new low.

Well, after the excitement of the new year and the promises to myself that this term I would be the best teacher ever, I have blown it. I haven't amazed people with my dynamic teaching methods, been Jesus to those kids that are broken or hurt, had an endless supply of patience...no, no I've sworn at a child (in front of others).

I had had absolutely enough of my year 9's (there is a lot of mutual hatred between us) and after battling through an hour of Macbeth with them my patience was wearing very thin. I kept Josh* behind as he was incredibly rude and sat with his hood up for the whole lesson listening to his mp3 player, (I mean I'd made laminated colour cards to symbolise characters and themes - how could he not have been riveted!). I had a few other idiots in there as well. I got into an argument with Josh where he started shouting at me and telling me how rubbish I was and then he stormed out. I got really irritated and stormed after him while saying 'Some people are so f**king rude!' Oh dear. I broke the code.

Yes he heard me, yes the three boys standing behind me heard me. I decided there was only one thing I could do in the situation...I flat out denied it. There was a round of 'Miss, you just swore!' to which I responded with 'You must have misheard me, I certainly did not!' I'm crossing my fingers that they will forget all about it...I'll keep you posted.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of cheeky chav brats who need to be taught a lesson.